Tuesday, 27 September 2011

Fashion Tuesday!

Although I am not quite a fashionista, I do like to wear clothes that fit well and are comfortable.  In the past it was very difficult for a curvy girl to find the sizes and styles that she deserved. Thankfully, there are many options via online and in department stores for sizes 14 +.

Addition Elle is one of those stores that fits the bill for the curvy girl. they have wonderful styles and colours for both work wear; evening wear and weekend wear. Although at times a bit pricey (for me anyway), they have fantastic sales! Here is a link to their website http://www.1-plus.com/additionelle.htm

If you  live in Canada, there is an online site that compiles many of the online and local stores that provide wonderful clothing line for the curvy girl. Most can be ordered from the comfort of your home and prices vary from the reasonable to the expensive.  http://www.plussizefashion.ca/

These are only two links but if you do a bit of research you can find many, many places to shop for those fabulous curves of yours!  Don't race past the thrift and second hand stores either. Many now cater to plus sizes and if you are willing to take a bit of time to look, you can find some wonderful pieces to add to your fall wardrobe. (i love vintage and second hand stores!)

All in all, have fun with what you chose to wear. Add a piece of funky jewellery or a colourful scarf and a sassy pair of shoes or booties and you are set to take on the world! It's your life; your body; enjoy and head out into the world with a smile on your face. You rock!!!

Your suggestions are appreciated. Have a story idea or body positive photo? Send it my way at curvesrfab@gmail.com

Until next time....

Heather McAlendin

Sunday, 25 September 2011

Diet Smiet!

It's finally Fall and the holiday season is fast approaching. Do you seriously think it's the best time to go on any kind of diet??? NOT!!!

As I've mentioned in past blogs, I'm an advocate for everything in moderation. Yes, especially over the holidays. Whether it be Thanksgiving; Diwali; Christmas; Kwanza; or whatever you celebrate during the Fall and Winter seasons; do it with moderation and enjoy.

People, women especially have a tendency to crash diet before the holidays. Not only is that doomed to fail but you mess up your metabolism and put unnecessary stress on yourself. Eat and live smart!

Okay so how does one eat smart? It's all about common sense. If you know you are heading to a party or function where booze and those lovely little appetizers are being served keep in mind that alcohol does indeed have calories and you DO NOT need to be drinking and driving. Limit your alcohol intake and have make sure you are drinking water in between. Wine spritzers are great! Not only will you save your head the next day; your body will get the fluid intake it needs and deserves. As for all those lovely appetizers and treats....sample but don't gorge yourself.  If the appetizers are large then share with a friend or partner.

It's all common sense. If you know the party is close to dinner but no actual meal is served have a bowl of soup or a small meal at home so you are less likely to stuff yourself with snacks during your night out.

Shake that groove thing! If there is music...dance! Not only will you have fun but you'll help shake off some of those extra holiday treats. If you know one of those traditionally large family type meals is coming up....plan an activity before or after the meal. Head out with the family for a walk; go biking; skating; sledding. You'll smile; share some great family moments and not feel so much like the stuffed turkey or ham you are about to eat!

So what is the main message here? Life life! Enjoy the holidays but take care of yourself and that gorgeous temple called your body! Get some fresh air.....hydrate yourself and have fun!

I try not to count calories (been there done that) but I try to have 3 meals a day with a few healthy snacks (a few almonds or a piece of fruit); drink water and I move my body. For anyone at any age and size that is just common sense.

Hey! If anyone has a tasty holiday recipe please email it to me. I'd love to share it with everyone!

Your suggestions are appreciated. Have a story idea or body positive photo? Send it my way at curvesrfab@gmail.com

Until next time....

Heather McAlendin

Friday, 23 September 2011

Big girls don't cry?

Of course they do!!! It's always assumed the plus sized women; curvy girls have such thick skin. Why? I suppose because of the ignorance of others we have too or at least we fake it well. What people...men and women don't seem to realize is we are extremely vulnerable no matter how tough we come across.

Ignorance and bigotry hurts. It is assumed because you are curvy or plus sized that you are lazy; slovenly; brainless....PLEASE!!! Wake up folks. Anyone who has to live in a world where you are critiqued not just becasue you are a woman but again because of your pant size has to be intelligent so we can cover up our daily pain. BUT this does not mean we don't go home afterward and hide under the covers and cry.

Why am I discussing this? Well, women seem to think they always need to face the world and themselves with a smile. I agree in putting your best face and foot forward but it is okay to have feelings. It is okay to admit you are not always strong and things can hurt you. It's okay to be vulnerable. It's all in how you deal with it.

Allow yourself to feel the hurt, the cast it aside and realize that the only person's opinion that truly matters is yours. It's not as easy as it sounds but, you are worth the effort. Cry your tears, scream and wail and then walk forward and prove to yourself that you are strong and vulnerable and all the wonderful things that make you a woman! The one thing you should not do is internalize the hurt or discomfort. Journalise; talk to a friend; write a poem.....get it out and move on!  Slip into that sexy black dress and strut your stuff. Let the world think what it will (and it will anyway). You are a curvy girl; you are a strong woman with emotions and feelings and sensitivities. If the world or the people around you can't accept that then find who will. The more accepting you are of yourself and the more you are your best self; the more you will attract those like minded individuals.

Do not believe in anything simply because you have heard it. Do not believe in anything simply because it is spoken and rumored by many. Do not believe in anything simply because it is found written in your religious books. Do not believe in anything merely on the authority of your teachers and elders. Do not believe in traditions because they have been handed down for many generations. But after observation and analysis, when you find that anything agrees with reason and is conducive to the good and benefit of one and all, then accept it and live up to it. BUDDAH

Your suggestions are appreciated. Have a story idea or body positive photo? Send it my way at curvesrfab@gmail.com

Until next time....

Heather McAlendin

Tuesday, 20 September 2011

Labels and other such nonsense...

Plus size; BBW; Voluptuous; Curvy; Fat; Obese; Chubby; Rotund; Rubanesque......we have all heard these terms or labels before so my mentioning them is nothing new. How do these labels make you feel?

I hate labels even though I find myself using them to describe myself and other people from time to time. Labels can be positive or negative depending on how the label is used.

Why do we label ourselves or others? Sometimes it's a result of wanting to belong and sometimes it's because we want to be different. We each want to be unique but in a positive way.

For the most part, I find labels restrictive. They define a person and that can be hard to redefine depending on how strong a character you have. A label is an assumption and we all know what word is in "ass"umption.

Why am I ranting about this today? I have had labels or assumptions put on me based on my looks; my education and my dress size. None of that defines who I am. As a woman I am multifaceted, multi tasking and ever evolving. I am not to be categorized or boxed in my someone else short sightedness or limited thought patterns.

I am me! An almost 42 year old woman who is discovering that she has yet to reach her apex! Gotta love that!

So tear off that label you have put on yourself or allowed another to put on you and feel the freedom of accepting your truth.....your identity is just that..YOURS! Do with it what you will. Colour inside or outside the lines and smile because your life is so worth living!

Your suggestions are appreciated. Have a story idea or body positive photo? Send it my way at curvesrfab@gmail.com

Until next time....

Heather McAlendin

Sunday, 18 September 2011

Loving your "fab" self!

Okay so I am going to ask that dreaded question. What is it that you think is "fab" about yourself?

"Insert crickets chirping here ________"

Oh come on now ladies. We all have one thing about ourselves that we think is fantastic. Do you have gorgeous hair? Voluptuous cleavage? A fantastic smile? Heavenly hips? Or do you have calves a man could suck on for days?

Caught you smiling!!! ; )

That was the purpose by the way...to make you smile.  The problem with a curvy girl living in a media conscious world is we smile way less than we should for no other reason than we feel poorly about ourselves or parts of ourselves. ENOUGH!

Go take a good, long hard look in that mirror of yours and smile. You are a fabulous woman with unlimited potential and you rock the curves! If you find only one thing today about yourself that makes you smile then kudos! That is a good place to start. Next week take a look and find two things.

Take a look through your wardrobe or make up case and all those accessories and find something that makes you feel beautiful. It could be that rich looking scarf you have been saving for a "special day"; those sparkly bangles you got on sale at the local flea market or vintage store; a pair of fab shoes you just have to save for "girls night out". Stop saving the best stuff. YOU are the best stuff and dress for success!

Whether you are a glam girl or dress for comfort, put your best face and foot forward; chin up and smile. You are a curvy girl and you are fabulous!


Your suggestions are appreciated. Have a story idea or body positive photo? Send it my way at curvesrfab@gmail.com

Until next time....

Heather McAlendin

Friday, 16 September 2011

TGIF...Let's Dance!

It's Friday and I don't know about you but i love the weekend. Which brings me to a question.

What does a curvy girl do on the weekends? WHATEVER SHE WANTS!!!

Yes, I'm talking to you...that woman standing in the corner with her head down and her back against the wall. I have felt like that many times. I felt my body was a hindrance to what I wanted to accomplish in my life. It even went so far as to hindering my getting out into the world and just enjoying life.

Turning 40 a few years back was my "ah ha" moment as Oprah would say. But, you don't have to wait until 40 to realize you are worth enjoying the hell out of life!

Do some research. In my area alone there are so many groups and things for curvy women to do. It is amazing! There is even yoga especially for curvy girls called, "Yoga for Round Bodies". Talk about body confidence!

Love to dance? (I secretly want to try belly dancing) Curvy women are accepted for the voluptuous goddess they are in many a belly dancing and burlesque classes. Yes, I said Burlesque. Body confidence and sexuality go hand in hand and the curvy women who star in some of these new burlesque shows are incredible examples of what ANY woman can accomplish if they just take that first step and get out there.
And if you are not quite at the stage where you can get out and shake that groove thing....turn up the music , grab that broom and shake it up in your very own living room. Invite some friends have a martini and you just never know where it may lead! (you may actual smile and have a good time!!!)

Enjoy the weekend! I know I will.

Your suggestions are appreciated. Have a story idea or body positive photo? Send it my way at curvesrfab@gmail.com

Until next time....

Heather McAlendin

Thursday, 15 September 2011

Love your Ta Tas!!!

Yes, I'm speaking of boobs; breasts, ta tas........
Every woman of every size and age has them and yet we neglect them the most!

Why do I say that? How many of you out there has been fitted properly for a bra?


That's what I thought! The bra is such an important part of our everyday wear (and evening wear too). An ill fitting bra, especially for a curvy girl is uncomfortable at best and a vise like trap at worst.

Why as women do we do this to ourselves? If your bra doesn't fit and isn't made for your shape then your clothes don't fit right and you feel awful!!! We deserve better! Our boobs deserve nothing but the best!!!

Big or small, a breast squeezed into the wrong cup size or too tight a strap is not a happy breast.
Believe it or not most lingerie stores; department stores and specialty shops will have free fitting weekends or you can book an appointment with someone who is trained to measure you and your boobs!!! That's their job!!!

You would be amazed at how many of us are walking around wearing the wrong cup size. When in doubt....ask!  Your boobs and your body deserve comfort and style.



Do you have a story idea or comment you'd like to share? Do you
have a body positive photo? I'd love to hear from you. Feel free to email me
at curvesrfab@gmail.com

Heather McAlendin

Tuesday, 13 September 2011

Take charge of your own destiny!

We must look for ways to be an active force in our own lives. We must take charge of our own destinies, design a life of substance and truly begin to live our dreams. -- Les Brown, Live Your Dreams

Love this quote! Short sweet and to the point. It will be my mantra for today. Sometimes the fewer the words....the larger the meaning!

If you have a story idea, comment or body positive image you'd like to share please feel free to email me
at curvesrfab@gmail.com
I'd love to hear from you!

Heather McAlendin

Monday, 12 September 2011

DIET is a four letter word!

I am sitting at my desk, eating lunch (oatmeal beleiove it or not) and that ugly word DIET crept into my head. Now I don't care what size or age you are, at some point the word DIET has entered your vocabulary. As I have struggled with my weight over the years I absolutely hate the word and the negative connotations that go along with it.

DIET, expecially to a curvy girl...BBW..plus sized woman; whatever label you feel you need somehow creates a negative association in my brain. DIET  equals FAILURE. Failure to control your eating...failure to be a certain size...failure to reach an unatainable goal.

I have been one of those that has tried and failed every DIET in the book. Mainly because I was trying to become the success others wanted me too be. I was not in it to win it for myself! And because of that...I failed. I am sure at one time or another everyone of us has heard..."You have such a pretty face if only you'd lose weight."

In the last few years I have made an effort to be healthy and as a result my body feels better and so does my psyche. I believe in moderation (although at times I will go overboard with dessert or chocolate). I beleive in order to be healthy I need to move my body. So, I walk..I do yoga...I swim and dance! THAT I think is much better than trying to fight myself and my body by dieting it into oblivion!

No woman needs any more negative things thrown at them then they already do. Live to learn and love yourself and your life! Positive in and positive out.

So throw DIET out the window and make a few lifestyle changes to be healthier and happier as a fabulous curvy girl. Drink a bit more water; add a few more fruits and veggies and save dessert for one special night a week. Move that gorgeous butt and dance like nobody is watching! Be HAPPY that you are healthy, moving and grooving curvy girl! (Besides all that smiling and dancing may entice that special someone or a new friend to join the party!!)

If you have a story ...a blog idea..a body postive photo or comment you'd like to share please feel free to email me at curvesrfab@gmail.com
I'd love to hear from you!

Heather McAlendin

Sunday, 11 September 2011

What is sexy anyway?

It's important for all types of women to know that you don't have to fit a prototype of what one person thinks is beautiful in order to be beautiful or feel beautiful.... People think, Sexy, big breasts, curvy body, no cellulite. It's not that. Take the girl at the beach with the cellulite legs, wearing her bathing suit the way she likes it, walking with a certain air, comfortable with herself. That woman is sexy. Then you see the perfect girl who's really thin, tugging at her bathing suit, wondering how her hair looks. That's not sexy.

Okay well I'm no Jennifer Lopez but who is? I have no entourage; no trainer; and I am certainly NOT rich or famous. What I am is....ME! And as i head toward my mid forties, I think I'm working my way toward sexy! (beauty is in the eye of the beholder).
Why focus on sexy for my very first blog? Apparently sex sells and I do write erotica. (note the subtle sales pitch!)
Seriously though...sex is so much in the forefront of things that department stores and the media try to sell women.
In a body conscious society, it is hard enough being a woman; let alone a woman who fits into a size above and beyond a size 12. The waif model is pushed into our collective spaces; styles are made to suit women (girls) who have legs up to "there" and no waist, let alone hips or thighs or boobs!
So hows does a woman such as myself and those of many a curvy lady I know fit into this societal model? WE DON'T!!!
And rightly so. Women should not be judged by waist size; hip size; pant size or even shoe size! I know it is easier said than done. Been there and done that! But in all seriousness why do we give our power over to those who have no relevance in our lives? The most important judge of character or body size is...YOU!
Now I am an advocate for being as healthy as possible. If you are living life right and taking care of your temple in the best way you can then rock on!
Sexy is as sexy does. Jennifer Lopez has it right; it's all in the attitude and your confidence and that applies to any age and any size. If you love who you are as a person and are living your best life than no body has any reason to think you anything less that what you are.
Speaking for myself, it has taken many years of self discovery to figure out that I am alright just as I am and I am very lucky to have a partner and family who feel that same. If you do not have positive reinforcement than you have to make your own.
How does one do that? By taking a small step outside of your box you call life. 
1. Firstly, never compare yourself to anyone or any size!
2. Secondly be proud of who you are...curves and all! (After all, there is only one you and nobody else quite like you in the world.)
3. Hold your head high, square your shoulders and walk with confidence even if at first you have to fake it until you make it.
4. Dress to suit your body shape and size. (Don't try to squeeze into a size smaller and don't hide under anything a size larger than what you need.)
For me, those were and still are the steps I revisit when I need an affirmation and want to go out into the world and feel confident in myself.
As I said earlier....Sexy is as sexy does.
Looking to feel sexy for a partner; a night out with friends; a lover or just for yourself? Smile, wear an outfit that flatters you and walk into a room like you own it. Guaranteed somebody will take notice and you just never know what that sombody may be in your life! 
If for no other reason......another curvy girl may be watching; someone without your bravado or confidence. So smile and let her and yourself know that curvy girls rock!

My thanks if you are reading this initial blog. As things go along I am hoping to  post fashion links and tips; health news and bits of pieces that may be interesting to those of you who share a common bond.....being a woman!
Have patience my friends..it only gets better from here!

Your suggestions are appreciated. Have a story idea or body positive photo? Send it my way at curvesrfab@gmail.com

Until next time....

Heather McAlendin

heather mcalendin 2011