Friday, 22 June 2012


Does fear affect your every day life as a curvy woman? Heck just as a woman?

If you are honest with yourself, you'd have to say yes. If not, I applaud you for your courage and conviction as a human being in this cray world. I know fear tugs at me alot more than I should allow it to. Fear of success; am I good enough? Fear of taking that first step into the unknown and pursuing my dreams.

The oldest and strongest emotion of mankind is fear, and the oldest and strongest kind of fear is fear of the unknown.
H. P. Lovecraft

This quote is very true. How often do we allow an innate sense of fear to stop us from doing what we so desperately what to do or achieve in this life? Why do we do it?

Fear, believe it or not is a comfort. It keeps us wrapped up and sheltered from life; from friends; from the environment......from living. Fear is part of what keeps those of us with eating problems on  he side of unhealthy because our weight can keep people away. If people stay away we can't get hurt.

I am slowly learning that if you truly want to live; man or woman; fat or thin; you have to experience hurt, pain and suffering at some point. It's what we do with that that creates the path for our life. I'm almost 43 and have lived most of my life in fear. Whether it be fear of my own making for fear I've allowed others to inflict on me. None of it was positive or healthy or good for me.

So, how do we get ourselves out of that fearful place and move forward, being able to face the world? For me, I am learning that it does not come from anything or anyone outside of myself. I have needed to deeply reflect on what i want from life; from love; from work... Am i truly alive if in fear? No!

The first step may be finding out where the fear truly originates from. It's different for everyone. It can stem from abuse; gender; sexual orientation; an unhealthy relationship....etc., etc. The key is to grab hold of what made you fearful and realize it's likely something from your past. Trust me when i say that your past can't hurt you. It's done and over with. It happened and it had it's affect. Now do you want to live back there or live each day walking forward and experiencing all your life has to offer?

No, it's not easy to face a fear, past or present but is it worth it? I think so. Fear, like negative people, sap your energy. It tires your spirit and the ability to embrace yourself and joy. Why allow anything to have that much control over what you do?

"Every moment you have a choice – to be at peace or to be in resistance. When you are at peace you attract positive energy and when you resist you create negative vibes that reflect back on your being. It’s a simple choice and yet most people unconsciously choose to live in negativity."

Letting go of fear is not outside of what your capabilities are. You have it within you to leave fear aside and walk with your head held high and your heart open to what life will certainly give you if you give it and yourself  chance. So give yourself a chance to shine ladies! (and men). You are so worth it!!!!!

I am still looking for ideas to write about. If you have something to share or an idea that I and the rest of us curvy ladies out there need to know about, drop me a line at
Until next time....
Heather McAlendin-Kendall

heather mcalendin 2012

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